Last Action Hero
I always wanted to go skydiving. It was the final test and one I had not yet taken. Something held me back. My kids. They’re older now so I don’t have the fear of them losing their father to some doofy mishap. That is definitely not the story for them to have to tell when asked about their parents.
“What is your dad like?”
“He passed away.”
“I’m so sorry. Do you mind if I ask how?”
“When I was still in the womb, he went skydiving. His parachute didn’t open, so he plummeted to the ground at a high rate of speed and bounced off the ground like a basketball.”
“What?! Really?!”
“Yes really. A Black man skydiving…wtf?!”
“Damn. Wtf. My condolences.”
I was deathly afraid of heights as a kid. My G ass Korean mother would go up on the roof in the summers to clean up and connect our air conditioner. I’d slowly climb the ladder step by step to help. The problem wasn’t going up. It was always finding my way down. I hated that feeling. Being afraid. As afraid as I was, I made it a point to work my way through it.
Roller coasters. That was my first step. It began at the local carnival. There was one that would come twice a year to Northgate Mall (that’s how old I am. It was called Northgate mall then.). From the carnival to Western Playland. The famed El Bandito. The largest roller coaster I had ever seen to that point. Eyes closed and fists clinched, I suffered through it.
My last level to conquer…The Colossus at Six Flags in California. At the time, it was one of the biggest roller coasters in the country. The line was long which only heightened the suspense. As we were seated and the safety bar lowered, the ride operater gave us our “last rites.” Basically if something happens, it’s your dumbass fault. The cart (it’s actually called a roller coaster train. I just looked it up) walked up the track in the same way I trudged up the ladder those summers. My teeth were as tight as that one friend’s wallet when it’s time for the next round. The cart climbed…click, click, click. It stopped. I don’t know how long it was but it felt like the running time of Titanic. No Godly reason why but I opened my eyes.
We were at the top of the lift hill (the name of the peak…I looked that up too.) We had to have been a mile up. I was frozen. And then…we plunged toward the depths of hell at Top Gun 2 speed. I felt like my cheeks were going to peel off my face. Insert Tom Cruise visual. As dramatic as all of that was, it was over in a finger snap. My heart was beating through my chest. For about 45 seconds, I controlled my fear of heights. And my pants were dry so there’s that.
